當我入讀崇基神學院後,其他人問起我的近況時,我也會這樣回答:「我現在於崇基神學院修讀神道學碩士。」若果這其他人是一些資深教友,或對香港基督教有認識的,就會如此問我:「你既然是聖公會人,為甚麼不到明華神學院修讀呢?」哈~ 當然這是一個很有趣的問題,亦不是三言兩語可以回答,通常我亦只是回答:「無論認受性,學歷及教授資歷崇基亦超過別人幾班,所以我選擇到崇基讀。」別人或多數人亦都明白、了解及認同我這個答覆。 但難度我不想入讀明華神學院嗎?不是的,我的心依然是於聖公會裡,想為聖公會出一分力,能盡早入讀明華,畢業之後無論以會吏身份,或有機會以牧者身份幫助聖公會是我的寄望,但編編是一些人和事使到我不能入讀明華。 但我一點也沒有埋怨甚麼,我剛剛讀到一篇故事名叫: “Bike Ride with Jesus.” 我的心情和想法就像故事裡一般。分享之前我嘗試把自己化身成一個很自大的自己。以下的描述都是真實的,只是以一個很自大,自我的角度去看 (緊記平時的我不是這樣子的~): 若果我要成為教區神學生,難道依靠我的能力,工作,事奉及關係,我不能達成嗎? 論學識,我是中小學13年都是就讀聖公會學校,亦不是一般的聖公會學校,我就讀拔萃小學,到拔萃中學。拔萃的英文名是 Diocesan,Diocese 即是教省的意思,中文直釋就是聖公會教省中學,教省小學。另外,我以Jupas 直接入讀城市大學,亦於畢業後一路工作,一路修讀公共管理碩士課程,於1年前畢業。 論工作,我並沒有因為只想著教會的事及學述上的追求而放棄工作,畢業後做了電訊盈科一會兒,就轉到了香港基督教服務處,擔任籌款的工作,一年半後,當我完成了碩士課程就轉到了更加國際性的機構:世界自然基金會擔任基金籌募主任一職,工作了一年才辭職,入讀崇基神學院。 論事奉,因有傳道人的提攜,當我中六開始參與青年團的事奉後一年後,我就被選為青年部副部長,協助部長及傳道人,以及透過幾位青年團友的協助慢慢改革當時的青年團。由最失落的時期只有6-8人到現在有多達50幾人。參與教區的活動亦至少獲得最積極參與大獎。2005年的時候亦被選為牧區議員,擔任少年部部長一職。因自己亦於中四,五時參與主日學,每一季主日學亦會邀請我於中學主日學分享聖經,而上年亦於婦女部、成年部有過分享聖經的機會。今年亦參與了詩班,及擔住詩琴的工作。另外當教會推動「以馬忤斯信仰之旅」時我亦義不容遲的協助推動,及參與。而論到愛心及關懷,我亦是10多位青年人的教父。 最後論到關係,我的家族是5代聖公會人。由太爺潘啟明牧師(中華傳道區)到我爺爺潘以漢先生,我父親潘仁智先生,我自己,以及我的2位侄子。都是對聖公會有影響力的人。而我母親余妙雲女士,即是工業福音團契的總幹事。而我的姑長是楊安振,亦是教省,教區的核心人物。
這些這些,我不是為著我不能入讀明華神學院而咒罵及發怒。只是想說明一點,如果我強行一定要成為教區神學生,入讀明華神學院的,我可以有信心我一定可以。就如保羅於 腓立比書3章4節:「若是別人想他可以靠肉體,我更可以靠著了。」,改一改就是若別人想他可以靠著自己的成就去達成此事,我更可以靠著了。 但有時,我們以為由一個地方去到另一個地方最直接的路線,就是直線,但當上帝介入於一件事上,就發現他要帶你去的地方將會是更加美好的。 The Bike Ride with Jesus Before I met Christ, I thought that God is a judge sitting in heaven, judge men and women by what we have done. But When I first met Christ, it seemed as though life was rather like a bike ride, but it was a tandem bike, and I noticed that Christ was in the back helping me pedal. I don't know just when it was that he suggested we change places, but life has not been the same since. When I had control, I knew the way, it was rather boring, but predictable... it was the shortest distance between two points.
But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, Up mountains, and through rocky places, At breakneck speeds, it was all I could do to hang on! Even though it looked like madness, He said, "Pedal" I worried and was anxious and asked, "Where are you taking me?" He laughed and didn't answer, and I started to learn to trust. I forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure. And when I'd say, "I'm scared," he'd lean back and touch my hand.
He took me to people with gifts that I needed. Gifts of healing, acceptance, and joy. He said, "Give these gifts away; they're extra baggage, too much weight." So I did, I gave them to the people we met, and I found that in giving I received, and still our burden was light. I did not trust Him, at first, in control of my life. I thought He'd wreck it; but He knows bike secrets, knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners, knows how to jump to clear high rocks, and even knows how to fly to shorten scary passages.
And I am learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places, and I'm beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with my delightful constant companion, Jesus Christ.
And when I'm sure I just can't do anymore, he just smiles and says… “Pedal, I am with you!"
這一句:"When I had control, I knew the way, it was rather boring, but predictable... it was the shortest distance between two points. But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, Up mountains, and through rocky places, At breakneck speeds, it was all I could do to hang on!" 直到現在這一句亦在我心內回嚮。所以我認為,在人的層面上想我是沒有可能不入到明華的,但當上帝的介入,就告訴我:「我有更好的路帶你去走,這條路才是我要你走的路。」這就會使我會心微笑。
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